Washington

Slog PM: Russell Wilson Mercy Fucks Seattle, Seattle Is Super Medicated, Elizabeth Holmes Is Heading to Sing Sing

What snow? Charles Mudede

Tomorrow, expect more rain. Expect more snow. Expect the snow not to stick around. That said, today was weird. Cats and dogs in the morning. Suddenly sunny in the afternoon. Then black clouds approaching the city like some massive alien spaceship that’s going to reduce the 206 to dust. Then witch-swirled snow. Then more rain. Then the sun again. After a day like this, one shouldn’t be surprised to learn that “Seattle ranks as most medicated metro for mental health reasons.”

Seattle Times‘ data guy, Gene Balk:

Seattle ranks as the most medicated major metro area for mental health conditions, according to a new survey from the US Census Bureau. It shows that more than 1 in 5 adults in the Seattle area have taken prescription medication to help with emotions, or with concentration, behavior or mental health, in the past four weeks. The survey was conducted from Dec. 1-13.

The hero of that week of all that snow, of all that slipping and sliding of dumb cars, of all those frozen sidewalks felling reasonable pedestrians? It was Link light rail. It made a difference. Thank you, trains. It was the great Sylvester who once sang: “You Make Me Feel Mighty Real.” Well, you, Link, made me feel like a real city.

Sorry Everett, but some day in the far future, and a future I will certainly be surprised to find myself in, Link will finally reach you and be there for you. KOMO: “Sound Transit said Monday that it has canceled its north line service between Seattle and Everett through Wednesday because of a landslide that has covered the tracks near milepost 19.6, about 3 miles north of Edmonds.”

If you were wondering, (or, better yet, if you even bloody cared), tow trucks were really feeling it last week.

What did Russell Wilson provide Seattle on Sunday? Nothing less than the deepest ever mercy fuck. For those not getting my meaning, The Spokesman Review put it this way: “If Russell Wilson played his last game in Seattle for the Seahawks on Sunday, he put on quite a show.”

If you are a rat and survived that whole horrible week of nothing but snow every day, now is the time for you. Get up, get up, there’s garbage everywhere. Those plastic bags are cotton candy to your teeth. Enjoy with the crows and gulls. KOMO: “The City of Seattle is again picking up trash after the snow and ice have begun to melt.”

The new variant is doing its predictable thing everywhere. Expect more of this in 2022. How will it come to an end? For us in the US, shut down capitalism for three months. That’s all. Sorry, nothing new to add. New York Times: “When Three Shots Are Not Enough.”

Because the corpse of Marx is still with us, still on the kitchen floor, still unburied like that dead body at the end of Charles Burnett’s masterpiece To Sleep With Anger:

This is what being blond and young gets you in the United States of America. (And what follows would certainly hit the spot if your reading voice is attuned to that of the voice of Tony Shalhoub, the “gene-broker” in Gattaca.) You can be accused of stealing billions, and swindling the likes of Henry Kissinger, not to mention the sister of the Prince of Darkness, and still jurors will enter a quagmire of doubts for weeks. That’s not half bad, considering the circumstances. But that is as far as I can get you. That’s the best I can do.

CNN:

The jury in the criminal trial of Elizabeth Holmes, the former CEO and founder of Theranos, has reached a verdict. Holmes was found guilty on four charges — three counts of wire fraud and one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud. The jury returned no verdict on three counts of wire fraud. She was found not guilty on three additional charges of wire fraud and one charge of conspiracy to commit wire fraud. Holmes faces up to 20 years in prison…

Christians, this is how you go out. Not in style, but with the people. You must live with them and die with them. If you don’t, you really can’t call yourself a Christian. I honestly don’t know what the fuck you are. But I do know Bishop Tutu’s dirt-cheap pine coffin is the only heaven you can hope for after death.

Also, whatever you believe in this world (no god, a god, lots of gods), always keep in mind one thing: You can never tell death how to do its thing. When it’s time, it’s time.

Yes, the first episode of The Book of Boba Fett sucks. That said, let’s move on.

It’s not, as I understand, in the book. But it’s in the HBO series Station Eleven. (The book and series share the same name.) It’s a recognition of the greatness of the hiphop crew (and hiphop has no bands, just crews) that had its much-deserved moment in the sun between 1990 and 1996, A Tribe Called Quest.

And why not end this today’s PM with the beat featured on Station Eleven that began with the immortal line: “Back in the days when I was a teenager/Before I had status and before I had a pager”:



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